The feeling that I want to just..
Drift away.
Gone.
Disappear.
*Poof*
I felt like there's two me inside of me. And this me1 is watching me2 drifting away into nothingness, while me1 just crouch in the corner, hoping that she won't ever drift away.
Is it stupid?
Like I don't think I'm depress. It's more like.. I think it would just be easier to let go. To not care. Not care for myself. My family. The world. I am just tired of caring. I have given up eating (not entirely, since my family made me eat. I'm still not sure if that's a blessing or a curse). I've given up trying to deal with my stress. I stopped being honest with my own feelings.
Maybe I'm being dramatic. Maybe I'm just an attention-seeker who's always lamenting and whining.
But I really, really wish I can get out of this cocoon. To stop feeling like this. To start being happy. I have not cried for quite some time, the last was maybe last month. And that episode came just as sudden as it's gone.
I kept thinking if this is an effect of the break up. I know for sure that I am feeling the impact of not having a boyfriend to text with constantly. You just feel like there's a hole in your life.
I know what Botak will say to this if he reads this.
He'll say, "STFU b*tch. You dumped me. You walked away from us. You don't get to feel this way. I should be the one miserable. I am at the receiving end of your heartlessness. F you. F your F-ing sadness."
And I know I'll just sit there, listening and nodding in silence.
*Teardrop*
