Bum.

No, not bum as in butt. More like... A word to describe someone who's bumming around. Hahah. Sorry. I smiled at that.

Right now, I finished my practicum and just laying around bumming. I did house chores, stay at home, went to make up class, really, nothing fancy.

Oh, and I lost my phone.

Yes.

AGAIN.


Getting sick of losing my stuff. I wonder when will be the time I will finally lose my marbles. I think I'm slowly making progress towards that. Right now I am using my sister's phone and I got to tell you this; it's crappy. I miss my phone. Where you can like.. Look up 9gag.. and send selfies to your boyfriend.. and listen to that annoying alarm sound at 7.15am every morning.. most of all.. I miss my games. The fact that I have collected so many game money and to lose it just like that annoys me to no end. Now when I play it on android, I lost everything and had to start back from scratch.

ANNOYING.

I have been staying at home a lot. It tires me when I go out. Yeah, yeah.. I sound like an old fart. Shut up. But it's nice. You got to stay in your stinky 2-days-old-pajama and it wouldn't matter if you don't shower. You don't sweat if you don't move.

However, my weight has been drastically increasing and I have come to hate the weighing scale. I come to hate eating, and I hate myself for feeling guilty to eat yet still stuffing my mouth.

I don't really eat that much, I just don't eat that healthy. I don't eat veggies and fruits as much as I used to, and I don't exercise much anymore. Just because I'll be like... Maybe tomorrow.

So tonight, after criticising my body, I decided it's now or never. So I went to the gym. I puked in mouth a bit while doing the climber but hey, I actually exercised. Puke for all I care about.

I'm heading off for graduation next weekend. Maybe also meet Botak before I go. I am scared. I just feel like this is it. This will be the moment I will have to be.. like.. normal. Like give up all my quirkiness to fit in. But I don't really like the crowd that I have to fit in. Being in a society that values collectiveness when I am a person who bask in individualistic society sucks. I want people to let me be what I want to be and do what I want to do. Not be like "Oh, you need to wait for your sister for dinner. She'll be back in 3 hours" or "You have to go to the gym with your father, it's dangerous to go alone". The gym is just down the building, for god sake. I am a freaking 24 year old and sometimes I also like to go out window shopping by myself just for the fun of it.

I have more freedom I guess than I used to. I mean, it's easier for me to say "I'm meeting a friend next weekend" and not get shot down. So I guess that's an improvement. Although my boyfriend still thinks I'm a coward for not standing up for my rights as an individual and an adult. That's easy for him to say, he doesn't have a mom who will use god's word and what not to guilt trip you. Sigh.

I guess this should be enough ranting to cover up for the whole month.


Till then,

October.

So I'm done with my teaching practical.


Done with birthdays.



Nearly done with my assignment. (Woohoo!)

What's next?

I am currently taking care of a few fishes. And I managed to breed them! Yeay! They were tiny little beings with two big eyes and like.. a line for their body. It's creepy. But I hope they'll grow up as fine as their ma and pa. Teehee.

Okay, back to work. Till then.

Teaching 6.

Out of the nine weeks that I have been here, I had only written like 5 post, when I was supposedly reaching my 20th post by now. It is just that the drama revolving around this school caught up with me, lulling me with these bitter sweet deception that is hard to untangle myself from it.

Just kidding. You know me better. I am just a lazy ass bitch. I mean girl. Sorry.

So.. Latest news about my teaching.. Let's see.. Hurm..

More and more students opened up to me about wanting help in improving their English. However, as much as I am happy about it and would love to jump in at the first sign of students asking help from me, I also feel that it is better for them to work for it. As in coming up to me personally and arrange with me when they want me to assist or tutor them. Rather than waiting for me to do it all by myself. I feel like it has more value if they also put in some effort into the learning. However, I know it is my job to make them realise that they have a fair share in this learning community, and that all that learning and knowledge does not come solely from me.

On an unrelated note, I had my first embarrassing moment just a few weeks ago. God. I am actually surprised in my reactions at that time. I wanted to tell a story to my students, so while beckoning to them to come closer, I backed away, to give more space to the ones at the back. However, the plastic chair that I was sitting on would not budge and it bent in a weird way, causing the chair to fling me off it. I flew backwards, and in a blink of an eye, I found myself lying on the dirty floor, staring dumbfoundedly at the spinning fan.

Next thing I know is my students shouting in horror. Some tried to help me get up, some just laughed at me and I think the boys lost their boys. Poor kids. I hope I did not traumatise them with the sight of my undies. I don't really know either if they did saw or not my undies. Let's hope it's all in my imagination.

Apart from that horrifying tale, I think my lessons were alright. Some days, it did not went as well as I had planned it in my head. I tried to make it up in the next class, but then I had an epiphany.

I have just wasted their time by screwing up my lessons.

Gosh. That really made me feel guilty. Very much guilty. How do I deal with that?


Till then

Teaching 5.

So far so good. My lessons are coming together, and I think I could finally recognise when my students are confused or when the bulb lights up.

For example, when I was teaching my Form 1 how to write an introduction by using the model "Hook, Comments & Background and Thesis Statement", only after doing it together with them do I see their face lights up with joy for understanding my lesson. However, I do realise there were a few of the students who don't really get the idea yet, but I will check back with them in the next class.

I did enter some of my other Form 2s, I think some of them hate me. Maybe because I was a bit stricter with them. Well, to be fair, they did cause some trouble. I know they are feeling a bit tired over all the drills, but I did not ask them to do the drills for my own entertainment. It was all from my mentor. So.. Yeah.. Whenever I felt like I did something to make them hate me (Like being strict and saying so many no's), I would lighten up the situation by making a light joke. Or just making them realise that this is for their own good. Practise, practise and practise.

Can't wait to go home for the holiday even though all we do is just fight. Till then.

Kids.

Kids say the darndest things.

If I wrote all the conversations I've had with my students, I am pretty sure the book will be one of the best seller books of all times.

For example, one of the boys in the class that I was relieving asked me:

"Teacher, what did you get for your exams (the one that the people of my country need to take when they are 17)"
"I got all A's"
"Why do you become a teacher?"
"Why not?"
"Why don't you become.. emmm..."
"What, you mean like doctors and engineers and all those people?"
"Yes teacher"
"Tell me, if all the smart people become doctors and engineers, who is left to teach you guys? Do you want someone who scores no A's to teach you?"
"No teacher"

The conversation ended there with a astonished look stuck on his face. Now I am not saying that no A's teacher cannot teach, but what is wrong with having someone who performed academically teaching the next generations? Even in Finland, the teachers there need to have master before they are allowed to teach. Hence, the reputation of being the country with the best education system in the world.

I got students left and right telling me I am pretty, but being me, praises are a means to get something. So I always tell them, "Whatever that you want from me, you are not going to get it". They usually just laugh it off.

Oh my. I got class now. Till then.

Teaching 4.

I forgot.

This is a continuation of the previous post. I just had an epiphany and I need to write it down before I forget.

I taught my form 1 essay writing, and I asked them to write me an essay. I realised I did not give them a proper scaffolding and it was selfish of me to ask them to do something they have no idea on how to do it yet.

During my lesson, I introduced the format of essay (intro, body, conclusion). However, I should have pace myself and teach them how to do each part first before asking for the whole essay. I feel ashamed now. How greedy and selfish I am to demand them to fulfil my requests when I myself did not guide them carefully. I dismissed their complaints of not knowing how to do the essay as excuses, and that was unfair of me. What was I rushing for?

Gosh. There are so many things I realised I should have done. I should have explained the proper way to write introductions, thesis statements, topic sentences, and also conclusion. I should have given them more vocabulary so that they can add a variety to their writing.

I hope it is not too late to amend my actions of demanding to walk before they can even crawl.

Woeful till then.

Teaching 3.

Holla!

Yesterday was a full day for me. I had back-to-back classes, and it should have made me feel tired, but I was not feeling tired in the slightest. Matter of fact, I felt like I am on a roll and I could keep on going for hours.

Suddenly the prospect of me becoming a teacher did not look so bad anymore.

I had my mentor observing me for the first two period, where I was teaching essay writing to my Form 1. They were very responsive and was eager to finish the work that I gave, despite the lack of information being provided. I even managed to stop them from copying off each other or from my work by threatening them to rip off their paper in front of them. I know, I know, it seems harsh. I was not going to do it for real anyways. I might do the ripping paper act, but it will be just a bluff. This statement, combined with my stern face and loud voice, I was pretty sure I spooked them. The silence was deadly after I said that and I could see them rushing to correct their sentences. At least now they will try their best to make their own sentence and not rely too much on copying off each other.

Next, I have the Form 4s to teach. I just wrapped up the presentations on the short story that I had started a few days back, and after that I let them work on their speaking test.

After that, I have the Form 2s. We discussed the answers to the exam papers, but I felt bored by the time we finished the first two questions. I could see the students' heads slowly bowing down towards the desk, and I know I had to do something immediately. So I asked them if they want to play dingbats, a symbolic word puzzle that I used to play when I was in college. Surely, they were enthusiastic to do just about anything apart from work. After a few puzzles, it was easy for me to convince them to finish up with the discussion with the promise to play more if there were more time available. Of course, the class ended with no time left for the puzzles.

Next, I have a period with the Form 3s. I was feeling a bit rushed by this point as the classes were far apart from each other and I have only a few minutes to transit between classes. I was oddly energetic when I entered the class, and this might explain what I did next. Looking at the students' faces (they looked energetic yet they somehow appeared lethargic), I decided to not start the class straight away. Guess what I did?

Arm wrestling.

Yes, you heard that right. I asked them to arm wrestle with each other (of course, with the same gender). The boys shouted gleefully and I could see in the girls' reactions that my suggestion to arm wrestle have stirred up their interest. Some of the girls were eager to participate, and I also gave an option of massaging their friends' shoulders or just move around  to others who refused to arm wrestle. The activity took about 15 minutes, and you would imagine that they would want to spent the whole period arm wrestling with each other. Yet, after 15 minutes, it was easy for me to instruct them to stop the activity and transit them to the next one which was completing the past years' examination paper. Although there was only 20 minutes left on the clock, most of the students finished the exercise and were eager to show me their work.

I tried to do the same thing with the next class that I have, which was the Form 2, but I did not get a satisfying result. I assumed it was the difference in the level of rationale and maturity that lead to a different outcomes to the same approach. So I quickly ended the arm wrestling activity and proceeded to doing dingbats. I asked the students to focus on finding English expressions that can be turned into puzzles. This dingbat puzzles will then be used on other students  to test their ability to guess the right expressions. The aim for this activity was to enrich the list of expressions that the students have.

All in all, I really enjoyed yesterday. I felt like everything turned out quite alright and I learned a lot in what I should have done and where I could improve for a better teaching. For a better me.

Till then,

Him.

Right now,

I hate how he makes me feel.

Useless. Abandoned. Unloved. Useless. Stupid. Whiny. Useless. Useless.

USELESS.

Saying things like "I don't have time for this" makes me feel like yelling out a retort "YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE".

I'm slowly dying inside.

Slowly.

But surely.

p/s We made up. All good. I'm not dying inside anymore. But whenever we fight,  piece of me died inside.

Rain.

It's raining outside, as though the sky is weeping. As though reflecting what I am feeling in the inside at the moment. The sky looks grey and cloudy, and there's not even a single ray of sunlight that I can spot anywhere.

It's shark week. Hence the emotional swings and endless tears. Continuous sorrow and sadness. And the cause of that? Practically nothing and literally everything. Being a lady is so complicated. I'm craving for anything yet I desire nothing. I'm looking for something sweet and chocolatey yet I could not even accept the idea of having sweets. I don't know what I want and I am getting agitated for not having what I want

Somebody pamper me please!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, I cried in front of my roommate. I cried because I miss having animals around me. I miss holding babies in my arm. Or cats. I want cat. I want Ulat. I want to hear him purring and feel him rubbing his head on my leg when I feed him. I want to grumble when I see his fur everywhere. I want to go to sleep with him at the end of my bed, and realise in the morning that he have made his way up and next to me. I want to look outside my sliding door and see him kneading and pawing the door, begging to be let in. I want him to look at me with his lazy eyes, and ignore me just so that I can be annoyed with him.

I want company. I miss company. I miss Botak. I miss my good friends when I was in New Zealand, people who care for me as much as I care for them. I am lonely here. I am sick to my core and I am lonely.

So again..


PLEASE PAMPER MEEEEEEEE!!!!


Depressing till then...

Teaching 2.

The first week in school was quite something. The teachers (English ones) were all busy with PT3, which loosely translated as Form 3's assessment. We use to have a national exam called PMR for these kids but they change it to PT3 as PMR was deemed to be "too exam-oriented". To be honest, PT3 is no different than PMR, except it's internally assessed rather than on a bigger scale.

Anyway, so this left the students with no teachers for almost a week. Out of sympathy (more like concern), I volunteered to deliver some lessons or anything that my mentor may have planned for these kids. My mentor seemed a bit shock with my eagerness to not let these kids spent the week without learning English, but she declared that she trusted me enough to let me teach without her supervising me. So I got that going for me. :D

So I've done quite a few more lessons after the last ones, mostly to the Form 2 classes (14 years old). Well, you can't really say it's teaching since I am just making them do the exercises that my mentor gave them before. However, we did discuss the questions together and they did ask me things about the exercise that they didn't know, so I guess learning did happen somewhere in there? I think?

I have done running dictation with the aid of another teacher. As there were two classes combined and confined into one place, it became a little chaotic. Ok, maybe not little. There were many disruptions and getting them to focus on the task was a challenge. And to make things worse, those distractions and interruptions all came from my students.  The first disruption was that my students were late to come into class!! I had to go out to look for them as they were 10 minutes late and were keeping the rest of the class who had to wait for them to begin the running dictation. It took me a lot of patience just to deal with them, but to be fair, my mentor have warned me that the students in that class were indeed more rowdy than the rest.

I'm trying my best to remember the names, as names are a highway to building rapport with your students. It's hard, and sometimes I got their names mixed up (which I have apologised profusely). Luckily, they were understanding. Some of the students were brave enough to come and approach me, which I am really happy about it. Sometime in the first week, my 13 year old students came by to the staff room and approached me. While looking bashful, a girl asked me

"Teacher, why must speak English to you?"
"Well, you need to practice your English. When you go to study abroad, at least you already know how to speak in English."
"But you Malay teacher!"

At this point I was very amused with the question and couldn't suppress my smile or my chuckle. I replied with a situation.

"Well, the Indians speak the Malay language, but are they Malay?"

They were taken aback by my answer. I could almost see the wheels and gears turning in their heads. I guess it made sense to them, or they were trying to make sense of what I said. Either way, my mouth was the one responsible for replying before my brain could properly analyse and consider if the answer was appropriate or not. So blame it.

They were also chuckling while hiding behind one another (girl's behaviour that sometimes doesn't make sense to me) and went away. So that's one of my little funny story that will probably stick with me till I'm old, or I forget it, whichever comes first. Another little story was when a girl (from the same class), who were listening to me discussing things with her classmates accidentally slipped out a comment loudly.

"Comelnya mata cikgu (Translation: How cute your eyes are)"

Okay, maybe I am bragging a little, but I really do wish they would never lose their naivety and innocence. It's so adorable.

Well, this will be one of the longest reading you'll find among my post, so enjoy!


Till then.

Teaching 1.

Heyya.

So.. I've done teaching my first lesson. I had to rwrite a blog in order to pass this practicum and I couldn't be bothered to create a new one, so I am just going to recycle this blog. Plus, it's not like anyone can read it anyway.

So again, I did my first teaching. It was just a relief teaching and I offered to take the part as my teacher couldn't enter the class because she needs to assess form 3's for their trial. I felt bad that they will be left to their own device that  I volunteered myself to teach them a simple lesson. I did a lesson on adjectives and informal letter, which combined yesterday's lesson and the ones before it. It was nerve-wrecking and I was really anxious but I can say that it went well. My heart was jumping out of my chest and I felt the need to pee very badly that I almost could not walk out of the staff room door. I felt as though I was approaching my demise. However, a smile from my colleague encouraged me to keep on walking towards the classroom.

My lesson didn't flow as planned, although I still achieved what I intended to do. To be honest, I felt like I was rushing it. But my colleague who was observing me said I was fine, so I guess that's okay. I told them my rules which were no talking when I'm talking and to use English when talking to me. I could see some of the students have warmed up to me and some just couldn't be bothered to give me attention. Although I have to admit, I love challenges.

When I was teaching, I tried to relate my activities with one another so that it is relevant and coherent. However, I think some did get confused with my instructions so I need to put more effort into that. Throughout the period, I felt more confident and comfortable to teach, resulting in clearer voice projection. After many prompting and questioning, I saw some students manage to complete the task successfully within the given time. This made me happy and gave me a sense of accomplishment. I'm going somewhere with these kids!

I will be off to my second lesson of the day. This time I won't play that much of a role in it except to monitor them in doing the exercise assigned. Hope all goes well.


Till then. Wish me luck.

Silence.

I am really sorry for the long silence. I am now safe and sound in the bosoms of my family. It was rough, I was immediately put to work as an unpaid slave. That, and no internet in the house makes it harder to update this blog. However, here I am, making a use of my phone as a hotspot, writing to update my invisible reader of the tales of my sorry life.

Sooooo.....

As I said, I became an unpaid slave. The house was a wreck. Really, no exaggeration there. I was taken aback by the state of the house. It was horrendous (time to make use of those dusty vocabulary sitting in the corner of my brain). I felt really awful and I had no appetite to eat, and despite my tiredness after a long flight, I pulled myself together and started to clean.

To make matters worse, it felt like my homecoming is just any other ordinary day. No one celebrated me coming home. Their attitude appeared as though "Mlah, it's just me."

I want to have a big as party going on to welcome me. But in the end, that's just a wild dream of mine. But I had a good time, Botak was there to pick me up. Well, not really picking me up, more like he waited for me outside the arrival gate and we dated for like what..? 15 minutes? Just in between the time I arrived and mom picking me up. Something like that. Hahahaha. But it was great, I felt so good and happy and blessed to have a boyfriend like him. He was there to send me off the last time that I went back to uni, and he was there to greet me home. I am such a lucky girl!

Back to the story of my never ending cleaning. It's day 5 and it is still dirty. On top of that, my family seems to have a policy in which they make more mess every time I clean something. Just minutes ago I was blowing my top off because the kitchen that I had tidied up was messy again with gross stuff everywhere. It took me ages to clean it and I expected my family to have some common sense to at least maintained what I have done or at least be more apologetic or guilty or something.

I feel like I may die of heart ache the more I stayed at home.

I miss Wellington. My room. My privacy. My freedom to do whatever I want. People who care for me a lot.

I want to go home. Not just a house full of people I know.. I want a home.. My own home..


Till then..

Yours truly,

Lonely.

I was feeling a little bit shitty these past few days. The burden of the final assignment, tests, lack of fun social times is getting to me. I felt more abandoned, isolated and lonely. Especially when I go on Facebook. Gosh.

Everywhere there are pictures of people with a smile plastered on their face, showing off how much fun they have with their friends. Eating together, go for a movie, or even enjoying sunset. Me? Lying down under my duvet reading manga on my phone.

How pathetic.

So I complained to my better half. How I am lonely and I want more friends. Good quality friends, not the shitty ones who calls you up when they need a favour and then just ditch you when they find someone else who are more willing to do favours for them. Not that I'm not willing. It's just that I want them to be willing to do favours for me too. To support me when I'm in need, not just making me their pillar of support.

I envy Botak. He have a few friends that would stick to him through thick and thin. And if these few friends cross some lines, after a few reprimands, they are still friends. Like, you can't even break that bond between them without having to put in a lot of effort. Me? If I didn't look for them after a few days, that's it. I'm considered a history to them. Which is sad, really.

Maybe the reason I don't have friends is because I hate people? Nah, impossible. Wait, maybe it is. I don't know. Sometimes I think people are stupid and don't have common sense. And no, I did not think myself as better than everyone else. Matter of fact, I think I am too hard on myself. I mean, that's what people said, so it must be true.

I don't even know what to think of anymore.


Oh well, till then.

Friends (III).

Here comes the third version of a post under the title friends. After some consideration, I am pretty sure friends is going to be one of the most heated topics that I will ever discuss in this blog.

So as you know, I don't have many friends. The ones I have but I don't want to keep are taking advantage of me and taking me for granted. The ones that I have and I want to keep.. Well.. I can't keep them.

In the case of the former, this friend of mine kept on taking and taking without offering. On some RARE occasions, she will offer. But that's because there's no one else who wanted to take up her offer and she's desperately in need. Occasionally, she will just take it from you, be it food, your company, your money. I tried to understand her and justify her actions but after a while, I think I've come close to hating her. She'll make you treat her even though you've let her know that your financial situation is not so good.

And this is the girl who are born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Do you see why I'm a bit nasty towards her?

In the case of the latter, there are a few people in my life who I love having as my friend. They care about me, like genuinely care about how I am doing and how's my life. However, because of distance, it all becomes just like dried leaves. Crushed and fluttered away. It's really sad.

But through it all, I still have one friend that I know will never leave me. No matter how many times we fight or argue. The one that knows all about me and still cares about me.

My Botak. Teehee. Aren't I shameless to promote him like that? Hihi. As long as he's with me, I know I will be alright. Come rain or shine, he'll always be mine.

Till then.

Final.

I am currently in the process of writing my final assignment EVER (for now). It sucks and I am lazy and I can totally see in my mind how the end product is going to be. However, due to my nature and love for procrastination, this leads me to attending to my blog rather than finishing up my assignment.

Oh, I got a test tomorrow too. Such sweet joys of education. Sigh.


Anyways, 2 more days till I'm done with uni. Yippee! No more assignments! Or tests! Only teaching, teaching and teaching. Gosh. I'm scared. What if they tie me up and run wild all over the school?

I think I've been scared of high school kids ever since my brother enrolled into the public high school near my house. The sight of these boys joking around, punching each other's arm and playing rough house, the girls gossiping away or even dress up deviantly... Brrrr *shivers*

I know, I know.. I was judging people a little bit too quickly and shallow too. I mean, I'm pretty sure they are all nice kids and that nobody sells themselves for 50 cents for a feel and a burger for all the way through. I'm pretty sure none of these kids hit the teachers or students till they are in the emergency room.

That's because they are nice kids right? *Gulp*

Hopefully. May God protect me from my ignorance and others. Amin.

Till then,

Mom.

Today I watched a mother
patiently wiping
her daughter's bottom clean

And I thanked God
that my mother
did the same for me

I thanked God
that my mother
did not leave me
by the roadside to die

I thanked God
that my mother
has the patience
to deal with my shit

I thanked God
that my mother
is still alive
till now

Accents.

Accents are weird.

Look at me. I grew up in Asia, and English is my second language. I come to New Zealand, and people over here asked me if I'm from America or Canada.

Why? "Because you got that accent".

And when I talked to American people, they'll be like, "Wow, your kiwi accent is so cool!" Wait, what?

That is so inconsistent. Oh, there's also this third party who just lumps me in the "weird accent" group.

In all honesty, I didn't put on an accent. Or anything of that sorts. I may alter the way I speak to accommodate to my listeners, but I don't feel like I put on accent. I may be wrong though, so meh.

Till then.

Friends (II).

Here comes the second post under the title of friends.

Lately I have discovered that I am really pathetic when it comes to making friends. Apart from Botak, I don't really have that many of people I can call "best friend". Maybe it's my nonchalant character. Or my inability to spend much time with them. Or my unwillingness to spend much time with them.

I have spend so much time being alone that it scares me to be with people for a long period of time. And since time is relative, yes, one hour is long for me. So be thankful, if you are among the few people I can stay and talk for hours without being restless and fidgety like an animal trapped in the claws of the predator.

So speaking about friends, one of the girls that I used to be closed to but not anymore in high school is getting married. Lets name her Rara. Now, I got the news from another friend of mine, Nana, who was a close friend in high school too (We are a gang of 6, including Rara and Nana). So I went, nonchalantly, and said congratulations to Nana when she told me about Rara (it was more directed towards the news rather than to Nana).

Nana immediately reprimanded me.

N: You should say it directly to her instead of me. 

Me: Yeah.. yeah.. I would if she had told me. I wonder, why didn't she tell me directly?

N: Maybe because she doesn't have your number?

Me: Yeah, but she has my Facebook..

N: Err.. I'm not sure.. Maybe she's.. sad that you guys aren't close anymore..

Me: Yeah.. Maybe it's that.. 

I find the conversation to be mind boggling. Some people grow up and still maintained the same circle of friends that they have in high schools. Some even from kindergarten. 

Me? I can't even keep the friends that I have around me. There's this selfish being.. deep inside me.. Who just walk away when the person that I invested time, effort, and money to make friends with, couldn't put in the same amount. Or when I couldn't do the same thing to the person who invested time, effort, and money to be friends with me.

Someone should really teach me how to make friends. And not just make them. Keep them too. 

Till then.

Time.

It's been days. Months. Not really a year but the calendar has changed. The silence was intentional, as life goes on, heading to directions that nobody knows.

It's 2014 bitch.

I still remember 2 years back, where rumours of how the world is going to end in December 2012. That was 2 years ago. Now look at us. Samsung is releasing a newer model for Galaxy, and so is iPhone. MH370 is missing, and Ukraine is being invaded by Russia after just finish dealing with their government.

So many things happening. But I'm sure you know more than me about what's happening in the world. After all, I'm just a frog in the well. And I'm choosing to just stay put where I am now unless it is really necessary to poke my head out.

I have so many things to write. And as usual, the time to write is only when I am supposed to sleep but I can't because of the noisy gears whirring in my head. It's a pain sometimes, but it's a good thing. Else, this blog will remained dusty and abandoned. Not something I would like to do to my writings.

Let's take this one day at a time. Till then.

He.

He is
the darkness
the light
the fire in my heart

He will
growl
grunt
to keep enemy at bay

He is
a destructor
a protector
the one for me

He will
love
lust
me, and only me.