Silence.

I am really sorry for the long silence. I am now safe and sound in the bosoms of my family. It was rough, I was immediately put to work as an unpaid slave. That, and no internet in the house makes it harder to update this blog. However, here I am, making a use of my phone as a hotspot, writing to update my invisible reader of the tales of my sorry life.

Sooooo.....

As I said, I became an unpaid slave. The house was a wreck. Really, no exaggeration there. I was taken aback by the state of the house. It was horrendous (time to make use of those dusty vocabulary sitting in the corner of my brain). I felt really awful and I had no appetite to eat, and despite my tiredness after a long flight, I pulled myself together and started to clean.

To make matters worse, it felt like my homecoming is just any other ordinary day. No one celebrated me coming home. Their attitude appeared as though "Mlah, it's just me."

I want to have a big as party going on to welcome me. But in the end, that's just a wild dream of mine. But I had a good time, Botak was there to pick me up. Well, not really picking me up, more like he waited for me outside the arrival gate and we dated for like what..? 15 minutes? Just in between the time I arrived and mom picking me up. Something like that. Hahahaha. But it was great, I felt so good and happy and blessed to have a boyfriend like him. He was there to send me off the last time that I went back to uni, and he was there to greet me home. I am such a lucky girl!

Back to the story of my never ending cleaning. It's day 5 and it is still dirty. On top of that, my family seems to have a policy in which they make more mess every time I clean something. Just minutes ago I was blowing my top off because the kitchen that I had tidied up was messy again with gross stuff everywhere. It took me ages to clean it and I expected my family to have some common sense to at least maintained what I have done or at least be more apologetic or guilty or something.

I feel like I may die of heart ache the more I stayed at home.

I miss Wellington. My room. My privacy. My freedom to do whatever I want. People who care for me a lot.

I want to go home. Not just a house full of people I know.. I want a home.. My own home..


Till then..

Yours truly,

Lonely.

I was feeling a little bit shitty these past few days. The burden of the final assignment, tests, lack of fun social times is getting to me. I felt more abandoned, isolated and lonely. Especially when I go on Facebook. Gosh.

Everywhere there are pictures of people with a smile plastered on their face, showing off how much fun they have with their friends. Eating together, go for a movie, or even enjoying sunset. Me? Lying down under my duvet reading manga on my phone.

How pathetic.

So I complained to my better half. How I am lonely and I want more friends. Good quality friends, not the shitty ones who calls you up when they need a favour and then just ditch you when they find someone else who are more willing to do favours for them. Not that I'm not willing. It's just that I want them to be willing to do favours for me too. To support me when I'm in need, not just making me their pillar of support.

I envy Botak. He have a few friends that would stick to him through thick and thin. And if these few friends cross some lines, after a few reprimands, they are still friends. Like, you can't even break that bond between them without having to put in a lot of effort. Me? If I didn't look for them after a few days, that's it. I'm considered a history to them. Which is sad, really.

Maybe the reason I don't have friends is because I hate people? Nah, impossible. Wait, maybe it is. I don't know. Sometimes I think people are stupid and don't have common sense. And no, I did not think myself as better than everyone else. Matter of fact, I think I am too hard on myself. I mean, that's what people said, so it must be true.

I don't even know what to think of anymore.


Oh well, till then.

Friends (III).

Here comes the third version of a post under the title friends. After some consideration, I am pretty sure friends is going to be one of the most heated topics that I will ever discuss in this blog.

So as you know, I don't have many friends. The ones I have but I don't want to keep are taking advantage of me and taking me for granted. The ones that I have and I want to keep.. Well.. I can't keep them.

In the case of the former, this friend of mine kept on taking and taking without offering. On some RARE occasions, she will offer. But that's because there's no one else who wanted to take up her offer and she's desperately in need. Occasionally, she will just take it from you, be it food, your company, your money. I tried to understand her and justify her actions but after a while, I think I've come close to hating her. She'll make you treat her even though you've let her know that your financial situation is not so good.

And this is the girl who are born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Do you see why I'm a bit nasty towards her?

In the case of the latter, there are a few people in my life who I love having as my friend. They care about me, like genuinely care about how I am doing and how's my life. However, because of distance, it all becomes just like dried leaves. Crushed and fluttered away. It's really sad.

But through it all, I still have one friend that I know will never leave me. No matter how many times we fight or argue. The one that knows all about me and still cares about me.

My Botak. Teehee. Aren't I shameless to promote him like that? Hihi. As long as he's with me, I know I will be alright. Come rain or shine, he'll always be mine.

Till then.

Final.

I am currently in the process of writing my final assignment EVER (for now). It sucks and I am lazy and I can totally see in my mind how the end product is going to be. However, due to my nature and love for procrastination, this leads me to attending to my blog rather than finishing up my assignment.

Oh, I got a test tomorrow too. Such sweet joys of education. Sigh.


Anyways, 2 more days till I'm done with uni. Yippee! No more assignments! Or tests! Only teaching, teaching and teaching. Gosh. I'm scared. What if they tie me up and run wild all over the school?

I think I've been scared of high school kids ever since my brother enrolled into the public high school near my house. The sight of these boys joking around, punching each other's arm and playing rough house, the girls gossiping away or even dress up deviantly... Brrrr *shivers*

I know, I know.. I was judging people a little bit too quickly and shallow too. I mean, I'm pretty sure they are all nice kids and that nobody sells themselves for 50 cents for a feel and a burger for all the way through. I'm pretty sure none of these kids hit the teachers or students till they are in the emergency room.

That's because they are nice kids right? *Gulp*

Hopefully. May God protect me from my ignorance and others. Amin.

Till then,